Los Angeles, CA (PressExposure) December 10, 2009 -- Are you feeling depressed about your romantic prospects? Well, help has come. I want to give you some tips on how to get the relationship that you want and nothing less. I'm very curious about this thing called dating. So, I've studied many books, talked to many kinds of people, and done a lot of my own research simply because I find it fascinating. On a personal note, I have many years of experience dating different kinds of people- I have been there and know what it's like.
The first thing I want you to do is to look in the mirror. Start becoming the person you would want to be around. This may be the most difficult part of the process, but it is well worth it. Be the positive, upbeat, friendly, and lively person that's just waiting to come out. You'll start noticing a difference right away- people will be a lot nicer to you as well and will notice you more.
Start exercising more and eating healthier. I don't mean to step on any toes here, but making your health a priority is not only good for yourself, but initial attraction is pretty important in a relationship, as I am sure you probably already know.
Other than exercise and eating better, perhaps it's time for a change in your wardrobe, haircut, and grooming patterns. I'm not asking you to break the bank here, but get a few pieces of clothes that are well made and of good quality. Get an honest second opinion on those new items from someone of the opposite sex just to make sure. Good, quality makeup and a quality haircut are also well worth the investment. Guys, please trim those bushy eyebrows and trim random pieces of hair (a really long hair growing out of your ear might be pretty distracting on your first date). Breath mints and a nice scent are a must as well.
Is all of this overwhelming you? Take it slow and focus on the most important things. As I've mentioned, I've been in many kinds of relationships. Coming from my point of view, the things that really attracted me to that person were: confidence, they look like they take care of themselves, not too much emotional baggage, and a warm heart. If you can pull those things off (which I am sure you can), then you are ready to get started.
Now it's time to make the list of what you really want. Be realistic here and don't be afraid to ask for second opinions about it. Set the standard high, but not too high. For example, a few things on my list were: they lead a healthy lifestyle, they don't feel the need to get drunk or high, they like learning, and they can laugh at themselves. I chose these things because they are all something I value. Choose the things that you value in life and look for the same qualities in your potential partner.
I will give you some quick tips on meeting people. First of all, please remember to keep up your appearances because you may never know where you might meet your love interest. Bars are not good places for long term relationship potential these days, so you need to broaden your horizons. Instead of bars, you might just find the person of your dreams in line at the grocery store or at the gym. So, remembering to wear makeup (if your a girl) to all the places you go is a good key to success. Another way to meet people is going to social events or public places that you feel comfortable at. If you like reading books, go try to meet people at the bookstore. If your into wine tasting, go to a few wine tasting events.
When meeting new people, be honest, direct, and confident. Give good eye contact, smile, and laughing at the other person's jokes are always a good way to get things started. Some people like their personal space, but some people like a small amount of touching to show that your interested. Use your judgment here- for example, touching elbows and the small of the back is ok for most people.
Now that you've gotten a first date, do something you've never done before but that you've always wanted to do. Ever wanted to go scuba diving? Take a class on your date. Or go for a hot air balloon ride. Personally, I've gone skydiving on a first date before. I don't think I will forget that anytime soon. You don't need to do those kinds of things all the time, but just do things together that you both really enjoy doing (or just want to do) is a great way to get to know each other.
Remember that meeting people is half the fun, so just remember to have a great time. I'm sure that you've heard many times that lots of people meet their partners when they least expect it or weren't looking for someone at the time. Don't feel like you have to put a time frame on love, let it come to you.
If you want more personalized advice on how to get that relationship you want or ideas on how to build a deeper relationship, please feel free to contact me. I am a counselor that enjoys helping people with their overall health. I am also a life coach, relationship expert, motivator, social worker, and teacher.