Las Vegas, CA (PressExposure) April 24, 2009 -- How long do you date someone before you finally ask, "Are we together?" Dating experts really vary in their opinions about this one, citing time frames that begin anywhere from after the first time you sleep together to after you have dated six times to six months into the relationship. 100% free online dating website : www.Pickupdate.com.
One can only conclude that the true answer is probably: "When you can't stand not knowing where you stand in the relationship anymore." Sometimes when we are dating we fall into a kind of complacency and denial about why we started dating in the first place. The end result is that we spend a lot of time with someone, weeks or months maybe, without knowing where we stand. The reason we don't ask the obvious is because we are afraid that it is too good to be true.
Unfortunately, sometimes it is. We have all heard stories about the woman who was thought she was exclusively dating someone for a year and then finds out that he has been dating other people all along.
This is because she didn't care enough about her own future or was too frightened to establish boundaries in the relationship. This transformed her into a "sure thing" that allowed her buddy to explore other options while she simmered on the back burner.
Never forget that the purpose of dating in the first place is supposed to be a relationship or even a marriage. We could argue all day until our faces turn blue about when exactly a series of dates turns into a relationship.
Maybe it is after he introduces you to his parents or after he has invited you to move in with him. The fact is that the two of you are sooner or later going to have to decide whether or not you are going to share your life.
The commitment to share material and spiritual riches together is what bonds a relationship for life. This commitment is forged by excellent communication skills. To keep your relationship thriving, make sure that you talk about your problems.
Don't harbor disturbing issues because you fear your partner will leave you. It is a lack of communication that ultimately poisons the rivers of love with resentment, contempt, mistrust and uncertainty. When communicating with your partner make sure you make eye contact. A lack of eye contact or a bored "yes dear" implies a lack of interest or respect for him or her in general.
Now that you have stopped dating, and officially decided that you are together and "in a relationship" the hard part begins. It is time to have fun.
To keep the relationship fresh, you need to work on pretending that every day is just as fresh as your first date. Keep yourself pleasantly groomed, charming and seductive so that your partner is not tempted to stray away.
It is also important to keep a sense of humor. Don't fill your partner's day with complaints, whining and pleas for attention. You are there to please your partner, not overwhelm him or her with problems that he or she can't possibly solve for you.
A commitment between two people means that you are pledging to spend your time, space, company and life together. Often relationships collapse because one partner is putting more effort into it than the other. Make sure that the balance of who pays attention to whom is fair and equal.
Acknowledge that you and your partner are not Siamese twins and that you are bound to have separate biorhythms, interests, hobbies, feelings and opinions of things. Be empathetic and sympathetic and don't take it personally if your partner requires space. Trying to force your opinions, tastes or identity on another person is called codependency. Suffering separation anxiety because the other person decides to go shopping without you means you need to see a therapist. Some people imagine that their partner as being kind of a third leg or as joined to the hip. There is such a thing as smothering your partner with jealousy and anxiety.
Resist the temptation to put your new partner on a pedestal or idealize him or her. This is dehumanizing and sets you both up for a big disappointment. Be reasonable in your expectations of him or her and take setbacks in your stride. Love is about acceptance, not trying to change the person you love into a more perfect version.
They say that sex is the glue that holds most relationships together. If that is true, the instruction for holding your own relationship together is obvious.
Lack of variety, routine, stress and overwork can all lead to apathy and disinterest in romance. Use your imagination, spontaneity and creativity to keep your romance as physically intimate and exciting as it was the day you first met!
Affectionate is also another important component as a relationship. Every day make sure you kiss your partner good bye before he or she leaves to go to work. And that old cliche is true. Make it a rule to never, ever go to bed angry with each other.
Just because the dating phase of your relationship is over, doesn't mean that you stop going out on dates. Plan exciting ventures for yourself such as picnics in the park, dinners out and trips to favorite romantic places.
Making time for your relationship is essential. What we make a priority in our lives seems to thrive and endure with us the longest so be ready to make compromises that put your partner first.
Don't see this as a sacrifice, but part of the hard work that is need to make your relationship blossom for a very long time! Find true love at www.Pickupdate.com.